Training Day (580 words)

©2008, Made in DNA

Master Sergeant Baker, ram-rod stiff, scowl on his face, walked up and down the beleaguered recruits that had been his misfortune to be training.

“Without a doubt, you slags only have the most rudimentary understanding of the enemy we face!” The amplification of his voice in the virtual-environment training simulator noticeably startled several of the recruits. “Positively half of you stood there and simply stared at the enemy as they cut your teammates in half with las-fire!

“For four weeks now, I’ve been watching you get cockier and cockier. Oh yes, I’ve seen the look in your eyes. So today’s little exercise was to take you down a few notches!”

“Wake up kiddies! The Razellians have a special all-female ‘Mother-Earth’ battalion they absolutely love using against our troops. Designed make you all drool, they have perfectly genegineered triple-E breasts that defy gravity and normal physics!”

“Aguilar!” He stopped in front of a muscular female avatar. “How do you feel about your fellow recruits ogling at a bunch of large-breasted bimbos coming over the ridge to slaughter you!?” The sound of his voice had her complete attention, but all she could do was stare at him with wide-eyed wonder complete with slight ‘O’ upon her lips.

He stepped through the recruits to the next row, “Jonesy! I knew you were a titty man! And I nearly shot you myself when you ran up to try and breastfeed from that alien whore!”

Jonesy stuck a couple of fingers in his mouth to suck on them, the recruit to his left drooled—a long, slobbery string connected her chin to her thigh, and still another had a pained look on his face for several moments until a rather unabashed bleat emanated from behind him.

The master sergeant pretended none of it happened.

“Master Sergeant,” the voice of the training base commander, Colonel Yamamoto, called god-like from the sky. “How is this crèche of recruits coming along?”

Baker saluted as the colonel appeared next to him. “As well as can be expected sir.”

The colonel sniffed the air. “Did someone shit them self?”

“Sorry sir, these recruits are still wet behind the ears. Happens quite a bit.”

“Well, I suppose that’s to be expected. Be sure to take care of it.” And disappeared into virtual mist.

“Yes sir.”

Master Sergeant Baker sighed, “Recruits dismissed!” and mentally activated the program that would ease them out of the virtual training program.

Removing his virtual plug, Baker walked into the real-world physical room where the new recruits awaited him.

“Okay, you babies! Someone obviously needs a diaper change. Now who is it!?” He gave a steely-eyed look to each recruit. No one said a word, and Baker pondered his options until the sound of a raspberry from the back caught his attention.

“Androv!” he barked and picked up a Trooper Prep Kit from the wall. Making his way through the other recruits, he picked up the pre-toddler named Androv, removed the child’s virtual visor, and lifted him above his head to sniff at the diaper Androv was wearing.

Baker’s nose crinkled. “No surprise there.” The boy made a face as if to cry.

“I’ll have none of that crying,” admonishing the baby with a petulant look. Turning toward the room-computer, Baker ordered, “Play ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’. The soft melody immediately soothed the boy’s feelings. Baker smiled and gently lay the baby down to change the trooper’s soiled diaper.